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The Power of Self Talk
by Scott White
What you say to yourself is what you
will believe. You determine whether the language you use when talking to
yourself is positive or negative, and your choice has a lot to do with
how much success you have in life. If you call yourself a loser, tell
yourself how much you hate yourself, or how fat you are, then guess
what. Soon you will begin to believe those things and become those
things, unless you change your self talk.
Self talk is very powerful — it is
the thing that can enable you to be a winner or make you feel like a big
loser. So which do you want? To be a successful achiever or someone who
is always in a slump, creating depression and an unhappy life?
It might not seem like that big of a
deal to be down on yourself once in a while — but listen to your
language. Is it really once in a while, or is it most of the time? The
fact is, negative self talk can destroy your life and make it virtually
impossible to have your dreams come true, while positive self talk can
help you get what you want and motivate you to achieve your dreams.
Positive self talk means telling
yourself things like you’re a winner, you’re beautiful, and what a
success you will be — all things you either believe now or will soon
come to believe. The positive or negative language we use absolutely
will determine our success or failure, though even more important than
what we say is how we speak to ourselves.
Professional athletes are masters of
positive self talk. Many of them know how to bring themselves out of a
slump by changing what they say in their heads. But what if you’re not a
pro athlete, or an athlete at all? What if you have developed a pattern
of negative self talk? How can you get out of that cycle?
The first thing you need to is
recognize that you are doing it, and then do something to interrupt the
negative pattern. A common strategy is to wear a rubber band around your
wrist. As soon as you notice yourself beginning that negative talk
pattern, pull the rubber band back and snap the hell out of your wrist.
This motion will create pain while it interrupts your negative self
talk. Since you want to avoid pain, if you keep snapping the band,
eventually you will
change your behavior and self talk
to something positive, if only initially to avoid the pain.
Say you’re a business person who
needs to make a prospective call and you hear yourself saying, “Who
wants to talk to little old me? What do I know anyway?” As soon as these
negative thoughts enter your mind, snap the hell out of your wrist with
that rubber band, and than rephrase the negative language with some
positive self talk, like “Everyone wants to talk with me because I’m so
smart” or “I know way more than anyone else out there, and I’m a super
pro at talking to people.” This process is called reframing because you
are reframing your old negative self talk into something positive.
Now that you’ve learned how to
reframe your negative self talk, let’s discuss ways you can make your
positive self talk more powerful than a speeding locomotive. The tone of
voice you use inside of your head is very important, because there’s a
big difference between hearing a pencil-pushing geek tell you to go for
it or make it happen versus a big strapping giant telling you not to
bother because you’re going to fail anyway.
So the positive self talk voice
inside your head should be like the Wizard of Oz, very deep and strong,
demanding you to take action and go for it. Then, add some theme music
that has a powerful, motivating beat with background singers, and even
thunderbolts coming down as you move closer to achieving your goal.
This powerful voice inside of you
can get you to do anything and achieve everything you ever wanted, and
more. You no longer are someone who can’t get what they want. You are
now a well-oiled machine that tells yourself you can do it and believes
you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Use this self talk
process when you are nervous about asking someone out, in a business
meeting, or on the playing field. You can do anything and be anything
when you believe you can.
You really are great, but first
you’ve got to believe it to be it. If you constantly tell yourself you
are a winner, you will believe it. But if you’re still calling yourself
a loser, you will most likely believe that. You need only to believe
what you say and think, not what others say or don’t say about you.
Speak to yourself only about how great you are, not about how bad you
are, how many mistakes you make, or how you have never succeeded at
anything.
Believe me, you will become what you
tell yourself, so if you’re not hearing how great you are, then you
won’t feel great. Don’t wait for others to tell you how great you are.
Believe it yourself, first, and once others start jumping in about how
great you, that will only reinforce how great you really are. Without
believing if first, and telling yourself how
powerful you are, you will make it
much more difficult to achieve success.
So I don’t care how many times you
have to tell yourself you are great or a winner or sexy or beautiful or
whatever you want to believe. Say it until you are blue in the face. Say
it loud and say it proud. Use a big James Brown voice to say what you
want to believe. Be creative, have fun, and say it 100 more times after
you have already turned blue in the face.
Remember, say it until you believe
it, and then keep saying it, using a powerful voice that propels you
forward. Then add a chorus or big band sounds. These creative, powerful,
and motivating tactics will get you to really believe what you are
telling yourself. Don’t wait for others to call you great. Do it now.
Start to be amazing on your own — others will realize it once you
realize it yourself.
Use positive self talk to make your
business, relationship, and life much happier and immeasurably more
successful.
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